observershikou | (no subject)

Current Mood: worried

(no subject)

...Concerning. Very much so.

Miss Sparrow may have blocked me from gaining contact with her, but... I'm worried. I'm far too worried. This feels far too much like what I've witnessed, with the Hikari no Kessha.

That Yamashita, as well... I can't help but feel that she's been tampered with as well, seeing how she seems to show appreciation to this "God"...

...This "God" that has done something to my brother, as well...

I'm not going to give up, though. I'm not going to stand by as someone I like becomes "tampered" with.

...I'm not going to fail, for once.

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...

...I'm sure they do.

...Life has quite a bit of meaning. You may claim that what I want... Is all that I'll have, but... I don't want them to harm others. I may want them, but... My desire to make sure no one else becomes aware of that, or is harmed by it, is a bit greater than my want to let that consume me.

Heh. Scared, aren't you.

I think you're beginning to realize just who I am.

But have they said it?

Life has no meaning other than what you make it.

You want it. Well. The darkest, blackest reachs of your heart hungers and yearns for it.

Their life has no value, Shikou. This is the ultimate truth of life.

Of existence.

There is no point. No destiny. No goals. No special reason.

You want it. Let your heart beat like the beastial child you used to be.

Cross the void, and slip into the real you.

Let your want ache. Let it tremble. Let it consume you.

...No, I'm not. I can't be scared of something like you.

If there was a need to ask, I would do so. I'm not worried of whether or not someone cares about me.

...I'm not going to let it. My want is a minor concern... Just minor. Easily silenced, and not something I should dwell on... There's more to life, to me, than to give into being what... What I should be.

I am the Great Adversary, Shikou. The asscusor. The tormentor.

I am the most blessed.

Is that true?

Nobody really wants you around. Do they? Do they actually need you?

Your want is your entire foundation for being. To disregard it is to build yourself on shaky foundations.

It's not a quiet girl who's scared. It's a beast banging and rattling it's cage.

There is nothing more to life, Shikou, darling. Beloved.

BE WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO BE.

BE WHAT YOU SHOULD BE.

...The tormentor... That's an excellent way to put what you are.

...Of course it's true. I don't need to assure myself of that... As for if people really need me... It doesn't matter. I still care for them, even if they don't need me to be around.

...I... I...... I wasn't born to be like that. While these tastes may have developed... It doesn't mean I was born with them. It doesn't mean I should listen to them, or if I should give into them... You may be trying to convince me otherwise, but... I'm not going to let that happen.

I am the most blessed and the most damned.

I am the encourager of inner sin. And there's nothing wrong with indulging in sin.

Yes you do. Everyone needs assurance.

Your worst fear is to realize that nobody loves you. Isn't that true?

To realize, like Ms. Sparrow, your life is baseless and without any merit.

Why care about a bunch of brattish ingrates who want nothing to do with you?

You were born to be an animal, Shikou.

You are the perfect killer. The ultimate in death.

You were born to be a lion amongst sheep.

Listen to the screams of your heart.

Give into the animal you are.

You will let it happen to yourself.

::Licks popsicle::

...There's... There's more than enough wrong with indulging in sin. With giving into those base needs... I don't fear that no one will love me. I fear much more than that...

Much... Much more... I don't want to become a monster... A beast... A animal... I don't wish to be a killer, and I don't want to hurt them... Those sheep, as you compared them to... Those screams... They can be ignored, even if it's just for long enough...

What's wrong with wanting sex? For wanting food? To possess? To kill? To be useless? To desire? To believe yourself better than all others?

All we have is base needs, Shikou, darling.

You fear the face smiling at you in a mirror darkly.

All we are are monsters, beasts, animals, Shikou, sweety.

You wish to kill. To eat. To nourish.

You want to harm. To hunt down. To pounce. To bite into the flesh of girls.

Those sheep scream beautifully.

Those screams make you happy.

To ignore it would be childish.

...There... There's everything wrong with that... Everything...

...Those screams... They are... They...... They're not something that I want to hear... I don't want to make them do so... I don't... I don't... I do-...

...Just why are you doing this? What gain would you have from trying to make me give into these desires? What would the point be, to convince me of what I want is greater than what I wish for?

It is the base desire of humans to reproduce, to feed, to not put in effort, to want, to have, to get rid of competition, to be acknowledged as great.

Those screams are beautiful, love.

You want to hear them every day and night.

You want to do it. Do it.

Because... Shikou, I love you.

I wish to make a world of dark hearts. To have everyone's inner desires reveal themselves.

I wish to see everyone become what their true potential allows them.

I wish to see you crack so I can see the beautiful monster underneath a naive boy.

You want nothing more than to Eat.

And that's why they're considered to be sinful, to indulge in them.

...They....... They are, aren't they. They are beautiful... But I don't want to hear them. I don't want to live with that feeling... I don't... I can't let this...

...Love? You love me? ...Even if that were to be true, I can't return that. If that were to be true... You wouldn't be doing this, to me... To make me become consumed by my hunger... To see me crack, and to become a monster...

I can't let myself do that... Not for anyone... Not to anyone... Never, never, never...

There's nothing wrong with being base, Shikou. Why do you think we have businessmen? Whores? Obesity? Murderers? Rapists?

They are beautiful.

You want to hear them.

You want to enjoy their pain.

I love you. And I wish to make you all you were capable of becoming.

I want your hunger to boil. To spoil over.

I love to see the worst of humanity!

Let it consume you. Let Shikou Samasu fade away, and hate me, as the demon of gluttony consumes you, body and soul.

AHAHAHAHA.

...Immoral beings...

...I... I do, I really do, but... I can't. I can't allow myself to do that... I can't, I can't, I can't... It would... It wouldn't be right at all.

...There... There is someone else you love, already... Even if I were to hate you... That would be listening to you, wouldn't it? It would contradict it, if I were to hate you... Yet I can't love you, either... I could never love a being like you, for trying to do this... For trying to make me into a monster...

Samasu Shikou won't fade away, in light of that... He'll be staying to fight against those desires, no matter what...

People who were forced to become what they were because the world gave them no better. Who are you to judge, Man eater?

Let yourself. Eat. Feed. Hunger. Desire. Taste. Smell. FEAST.

There is no right.

There is no wrong.

There is only hate and hunger.

I do. With all of my heart.

Listen to me. You have no where else to go. Your precious Kanna won't ever love you, monster.

Hate and love are the same thing.

You love me for bringing you back home, my darling Shikou.

You always were a monster. Let go of the childish disguise.

Samasu Shikou, the man, will die. However, the animal underneath will be all that remains, struggling. He'll keep fighting. But it won't matter.

...I... I'm not one to judge...

...I want to believe you. I want to listen to what you say... But I can't give up the chance to be able to live my life... To let others live their lives... To be the same as them, to actually be able to understand remorse, pity... To be considered normal...

...Even... Even if she didn't love me... That will be alright. She's with someone that she does love. I'd want to make sure that she's happy... I already know that it's foolish to hope that she'll one day love me the same way that I do to her... Even if you are offering your own, I can't accept it, because there's someone you care for, already.

It may be a childish disguise... But I need to keep it. I'm not going to be the monster that I'm supposed to be. That you want me to be.

...

There's someone I need to go meet.

You have no right to decide morality or care about others.

Believe me.

Listen to me.

You have no life.

They have no life.

Pity. Remorse. A predator doesn't need them.

She'll never love you.

Sekuta doesn't love anything.

She'll never be happy. There is no fairy tale ending.

She'll never love a monster like you, beast.

He's all the world to me, monster.

Meat you mean.

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