observershikou | (no subject)

Current Mood: complacent

(no subject)

Well, I feel much more content now. My back may hurt from sleeping against a wall, but... At least Miss Sparrow finally realized what was happening.

As for that... Other problem... Mng. I'm probably going to have to ask them to schedule me for a session at the end of the school year.

I'm sure I can at least last that long, without the temptation showing itself again in a way that I can't stand it.

...I'm sure of it.

...It doesn't help that it feels like I'm starving now... Their words really did affect me. I didn't want them to, but... A part of me wanted to keep listening, and to give in... Now I can't help but imagine just how well Yamashita might have tasted, had I given in.

...I'm still glad that I didn't, though. I don't want to be taken away from this place. I'll... I'll just need to make sure that their words don't affect me as much, anymore.

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That... That is expected, Miss Theresa... Besides, people only naturally fear something like that.

...

I just don't get you.

You can do things like help Suzume, and yet...

...Just because I have tastes like that, doesn't mean I was born without emotions and the ability to care, Miss Theresa.

...but you're still tempted.

Tempted, but not consumed.

...so how am I suppose to know you aren't going to put me, or someone I care about on the menu?

~~...although there is a particular monk that'd probably be... No, I just can't think of it.~~

Because, like I said, before I would even try anything, I would be making sure that I am sent off of the island back to the mainland. Possibly restrained in the process. Locked up, most likely.

... I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad at that idea.

I'd be away from you and everyone else, so I'd expect "relieved".

Well... Yes, you do frighten me in a sense, but so do others here. You've shown yourself to be able to do things... I just won't expect a male to do.

So... I might be getting rid of a threat, but I'd be losing something too.

...Mn. I'd still put other's safety before what I'd want, myself. Even if you would be losing something... It would keep you safe.

But you kept Suzume safe. You aren't just a threat.

...But I could be. I almost was. But someone finally got me to stop and think.

Can't someone help you, like with Souha? :.

Someone already did. That's the only reason why I was even allowed to go to an actual school.

Strange things happen here all the time, though. Maybe someone could 'remove' the cannibal from you, like I hear they did with Souha?

I... I think that'd be impossible.

...They removed what from Souha?

You would think... but then, I freeze things and Souha shoots fire. Those are considered 'impossible' too, aren't they?

They separated the two sides of Souha, I think. Sounds like something they could do with you.

....Right. Probably, but... Mn.

...I... I don't think I'd want that to happen. If not for the fact that it would feel somewhat wrong, being half a person, we'd also have a monster running around, or I'm going to have to witness a part of myself being restrained.

...Isn't that what you're doing anyway? And is the 'cannibal' part really half of who you are?

...Of course it is. It's how I was born. I can't really ignore the way I was born... Just try to hide it.

...so you'd rather be locked up than lose that part of you, which you're always having to hide...

It's a bit odd, isn't it?

I just don't understand. You could be a very good thing for this island, but you want to cling to something which could destroy your life.

That's because it's a part of me... While it is a horrible part, it's something I've lived with for my entire life.

Without it, I'd be... Incomplete.